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Education
for Life:
Preparing Children to Meet the Challenges
by J. Donald Walters
Chapter Eleven
Progressive Development
A friend of mine
one day, struggling in the quicksands of a negative mood, was
attempting to define everything in life in terms of the general
hopelessness of it all. He challenged me to say something that would
make him see things differently. And of course, though I tried, my
best efforts proved unavailing. For when a person wants to be
unhappy, no one in the world can make him happy.
But then an
inspiration came to me. “I’m not really worried about you,” I said.
“We all have a certain specific spiritual gravity, and return to it
repeatedly and naturally after any period of temporary depression or
euphoria. All that’s required is that we relax into ourselves again.
Your own specific gravity,” I said, “is high. I’m sure you’ll return
to it naturally in a day or two without any help from me.”
And so it proved.
It was a useful
inspiration. In the world of physics, objects rise or sink, as we all
know, according to their own specific gravity relative to the density
of the medium surrounding them. A child’s balloon, if filled with
helium, will rise as soon as the child releases it, and will continue
rising until its own specific gravity is the same as that of the
atmosphere around it. An object placed in water will sink if its
specific gravity is greater than that of water, but will float if it
is less.
People too, I’ve
noticed, sink or rise in their consciousness according to another kind
of “specific gravity.” Some natures are naturally heavy; others,
naturally light.
People with a
naturally positive outlook may rise above even extraordinary
setbacks—tests under the impact of which other people, more
pessimistically inclined, might sink without a trace.
There were
prisoners in the German concentration camps of World War II whose
positive outlook lifted them above that human tragedy. The very effort
to remain positive brought them to greatness; they became deeply
compassionate, forgiving, and wise.
On the other hand,
it is not unusual to encounter people who complain unceasingly of
their lot in life—not necessarily because their lot is hard, but
merely because they are bored.
“Specific gravity”
in human beings is what makes them, to varying degrees, positive or
negative. To describe these differences in terms of “light” or “heavy”
may be novel, but it is nevertheless apt. For the description
addresses a subjective awareness that we all share. Indeed every
language, as far as I know, contains words and expressions that
describe positive and negative states of mind in terms of this
specific gravity. We speak of feeling “high,” “uplifted,” or as if (to
use the modern expression) “sailing on cloud nine.” Or else we moan
that we feel “low,” “downcast,” or “in the dumps.” No one who feels
spiritually heavy is likely to say, “I’m so happy!” A happy feeling is
marked by a rising awareness—from heaviness toward a consciousness of
lightness and expansion.
This metaphor can
be applied to human development on every level. For it is literally
true that certain qualities—laziness, for example, or envy—pull even
the energy of the body downward in the spine, and that certain other
qualities—kindness, or a spirit of willingness—lift it upward.
Perhaps, if we
study personality traits in this context, we’ll discern a universal
kind of progression that will serve teachers well in their guidance of
children.
The important thing
will be to see whether the specific gravity—the long-term
reality in this context, and not merely the passing moods—of a child
can be improved, or “lightened.” It is with this basic nature that the
teacher should be especially concerned.
Let us consider
some of the contrasting qualities mentioned in the last chapter. To
refresh your memory, here they are again:
1. expansive vs.
contractive;
2. outgoing vs. withdrawn;
3. positive vs. negative;
4. constructive vs. destructive;
5. imaginative vs. literal-minded;
6. creative vs. imitative;
7. aggressive vs. passive;
8. assertive vs. submissive.
Eight pairs of
qualities. None of these qualities is static or absolute. They
represent a progression, or a regression, in one of two directions,
upward or downward.
The first pair of
qualities—expansive vs. contractive—gives us our best clue as to how
to apply this concept of “specific density” to human temperament
generally. A helium-filled balloon rises. A stone sinks to the bottom
of a lake. The difference between the gravity of helium and that of a
stone lies simply in their specific density.
Similarly, when
human consciousness is expansive it is “light”; when it is
contractive, it is “heavy.” An expansive, and therefore light,
temperament, when faced with a problem, views it from a naturally
broad perspective and is likely, in consequence, to be
solution-oriented. A contractive, and therefore heavy, temperament is
likely to see the problem itself as the entire reality. Contractive
people are problem-oriented.
Imagine human
consciousness as consisting of countless microscopic particles, like
the motes of dust in a sunbeam. These motes, if they coalesce, may
become solid lumps of earth. Imagine them, then, as “particles” of
consciousness, light when their mass is widely dispersed, but heavy
when they are compacted into a single “lump” of ego-consciousness.
Expansiveness comes with sympathetic acceptance of the realities of
others. With expansiveness, the “particles” of consciousness rise,
even as a balloon rises upward, lifting one into an ever-lighter, more
joyful outlook.
The more a person’s
sympathies expand to embrace family and friends, neighbors, country,
mankind, all creatures, the more the “particles,” so-called, of his
consciousness become light in their expansiveness. The result is an
ever-freer state of awareness.
Selfish people are
“heavy” because of their self-involvement. Selfish people, moreover,
in their heaviness of temperament, are habitually unhappy, negative,
and morose. By contrast, unselfish people are habitually cheerful and
positive.
The cure for
unhappiness and negativity, then, is not, as selfish people imagine,
to increase their concern for their own welfare. It is to forget
themselves in concentration on the welfare of others.
Since not all
children are easily motivated toward self-improvement, the solution is
to surround them, as much as possible, with others of “lighter”
consciousness than their own.
The great diversity
of psychological traits all have in common this one, simple phenomenon
of “specific gravity,” or psychological “density.” Expansiveness,
happiness, and a positive outlook manifest lightness of spirit.
Contractiveness, unhappiness, and negativity manifest heaviness of
spirit.
It would, however,
be simplistic to describe all the qualities contrasted above as either
light or heavy. Take another pair: an outgoing nature vs. one that is
mentally withdrawn. Superficially—and so might the judgment be in any
popularity contest—it may seem that an outgoing nature is by very
definition expansive, and a withdrawn nature, again by definition,
contractive. If, however, we examine two children possessing one or
the other of these traits from a point of view of their specific
spiritual gravity, we may find that the appearance is deceptive.
For an outgoing
nature is often egotistical and self-centered—seeking approval,
recognition, and emotional support from others, rather than giving
such support; a personality once described as, “Clap hands, here comes
Charlie!” On the other hand, a withdrawn nature may be only
contemplative, and not self-preoccupied at all, in its inner
expansiveness enjoying an unusually light specific gravity.
It is from within,
and not superficially from without, that each individual child must be
understood.
Would, then, an
outgoing but ego-centered nature fit into the same category of
“heaviness” as one that was dull-minded and slothful? Hardly. There
are relativities, in other words, of “lightness” and “heaviness.”
“Heavy” and “light,” by themselves, are too broad as designations, too
black and white; they don’t account for in-between shadings of grey.
A third designation
is needed, then, to cover these in-between states, and to explain
shadings that express more light, or more darkness. An
in-between designation would help, for example, to explain the
difference between ego and egotism: between self-awareness and
self-involvement. Human beings, whose developed awareness (compared to
the lower animals) increases also their self-awareness, need
this awakening to ego-consciousness as an incentive toward
self-improvement. Self-involvement, however, obstructs
self-improvement, for it blocks progressively rising states of
awareness.
There is only one
thing, really, that can lift a person out of the depths of spiritual
unawareness—out of the relative “density” of dullness, laziness, and
despair. It is not high-mindedness, to which quality dull minds cannot
even relate. The bridge from mental dullness to higher awareness is
constructed of intense activity of some kind. Of no use to the
self-involved child are such expansive techniques as visualization,
meditation, and positive thinking. None of these “light” activities
can address the reality of a wholly negative attitude.
What, then, can
help the spiritually “heavy” child to disperse his condensed
aggregation of mental molecules? The answer is, by ego-motivated
activity. We’ve described spiritual “density” as a contraction inward
upon the ego. The way to lighten this density, then, will not be to
deny the ego its accustomed satisfactions, but to suggest to the ego
that it will find greater satisfaction in reaching outward to the
world than in wallowing in self-involvement. The way to encourage a
“heavy” child to break out of his mental enclosure of self-involvement
is to provide him with incentives to become more outwardly active.
Outgoing, even if
ego-affirming, activity is wholesome and positive for the contractive
spirit.
This middle
category, then, may be defined as “ego-active.” Ego-centered
activity can pull one in either of two directions—either toward
further expansiveness, or toward a reaffirmation of contractiveness.
We might therefore speak of these alternative directions as
“expansive ego-active” and “contractive ego-active.”
In expansive
ego-activity there is a tendency toward progressive lightness, and a
decreasing emphasis on the ego’s importance.
In contractive
ego-activity, on the other hand, though more expanded than the “heavy”
quality of mental dullness, despair, and the like, the direction is
still inward upon itself: toward the ego, in other words, as the
center of awareness. Contractive ego-activity lacks the simplicity of
clear purpose; in its restlessness it tends to kick up clouds of
mental dust, obscuring anything to which the person gives his
attention. His activity, like his consciousness, never produces truly
beneficial results.
A child’s nature
can be gauged much more easily in these simple terms of his “specific
spiritual gravity,” or “density,” than by pondering his psychological
traits individually. In this simplicity lies a golden key with which
to unlock the door to a child’s spiritual maturity.
Like all simple
methods, however, it requires sensitivity to use the key effectively.
A bathroom scale cannot determine the weight in carats of a diamond.
The relative spiritual density of a child cannot be gauged by a mind
that is filled with prejudices. It can be gauged best by calm inner
feeling, which is to say, by intuition. It is doubtful whether the
process could be reduced to an objective science, for it depends too
much on the perceptive sensitivity of the individual teacher.
Still, there are
objective criteria that can help the sensitive teacher to arrive at
insights that will help the child.
Heaviness or
lightness in a child’s consciousness will be revealed, for one thing,
in the postures and movements of his body. A child with a “heavy”
outlook will demonstrate that heaviness physically: in his posture, in
the slump of his shoulders, in the curve of his spine. His gaze will
be habitually downward. Even in the way he sits and walks, it will
seem as though life were a burden to him.
A child of light
consciousness, by contrast, reveals in his every gesture an inner
spirit of lightness. You may see such a child raise his arms
frequently, rather than letting them hang forlornly at his side, and
square his shoulders instead of letting them sag. His sitting posture
is upright, his gaze more habitually upward, and his walk energetic,
not expressive of mental denial.
Again, a child’s
psychological “density” can be recognized in his choice of friends.
Low-energy children will shun, and may even resent, children of high
energy. The high-energy child, on the other hand, finds little to
interest him in the company of children of low energy, and tends to
seek as companions those whose energy level is as high as his own.
An exception to
this rule is children who “mix downward” for special reasons—usually,
though not always, to help their “heavier” companions.
Teachers may devise
tests of a child’s reactions to challenges. For instance, how readily
does a child share his enjoyments with others? How truthful is he?
Does he respond positively to discipline? When requested to do
something, does he habitually seek excuses not to do it, or does he
respond willingly? Does he show a sense of responsibility? Does he
show initiative?
Observe him at
play. Is he basically cheerful during moments of relaxation, or has he
a tendency to be glum? Does he set himself in competition with others,
or does he work with them in a cooperative spirit? On the other
hand—another alternative—does he set himself apart from them; and, if
so, does he seem to do so in a manner suggestive of self-enclosure and
self-preoccupation, or does he keep to himself rather because the
focus of his attention is elsewhere?
How can the teacher
use this tool of specific gravity to help the child? As we have
suggested, the first step is to gain a sensitive understanding of the
child’s “specific spiritual gravity,” or normal level of awareness:
from “heavy” through “ego-active” and finally to “light”
consciousness. Gradations in between, and the question of whether the
directional pull is upward or downward, will suggest themselves
naturally.
Next comes
motivating the children. How can the teacher get children to want
to change their level of awareness, and to expand their self-identity?
The answer is: Help them to understand that what is involved here is
escape from pain on the one hand, and the discovery of happiness on
the other. If they are already happy, they will already feel motivated
to increase their happiness.
Specific methods
for raising the child’s level of awareness have been touched on
lightly so far, and will be covered in depth in subsequent chapters.
How are these
techniques to be used? Consciously, on the part of the teachers.
Often, however, on the child’s part, it would be as well for him not
to be aware of the process, lest his self-consciousness spoil
everything.
Other techniques,
not mentioned elsewhere, include deep breathing. For in deep breathing
the lungs become, as it were, a magnet to draw the energy up from the
lower parts of the body.
Wholesome exercise
is invigorating also, and will help children to awaken a flow of
energy in the body. By directing this energy outward, it will be
prevented from being turned inward, contractively.
Other techniques
will occur to the teacher as he develops these practices. For example,
a school I attended for two years in England as a boy had an ingenious
system for inspiring us to make a greater personal effort. We were
graded not only on our studies, but also on how hard we’d tried. This
second grading system was done with colors. “Excellence” in this
department was indicated by a double red oblong; “very good,” by a
single red oblong; “good,” by a double green; “fair,” by a single
green. “Poor” was indicated by a double blue, and “very poor,” by a
single blue. Somehow, we all worked much harder to receive pretty
colors than we ever would have for numerical grades.
Try also, if
possible, to help the child in his selection of companions. If you
encourage him to associate with "lighter" children, however, it might
be better not to explain to him your reasons for doing so, lest he
resent the implied suggestion of condescension on the part of his
companions.
Finally, remember
the importance to the child of your own magnetic influence. Live as
much as possible, yourself, on higher levels of awareness. The more
expanded you are in your consciousness, the more expanded the children
in your care will become.
Let me close this
chapter with a fourth Law. I have already given three others in this
book: Walters’ Law of Dogmatic Proliferation, The Maturity Principle,
and Yogananda’s Law of Basic Motivation. This fourth law may be called
“The Happiness Principle”: Happiness increases in direct proportion
to the expansion of empathy, and in inverse proportion to the
contractive density of self-affirmation.
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